New Year: 2015

2015!

Happy New Year to you! 

The year of the sheep. The year of promise to so many people. The day that resets everyone's hopes, dreams and aspirations. To be honest, I feel very good about 2015, I might have read a few horoscope predictions. After everything that happened in 2014 I was ready to come to a close to the year. I am not one to make huge resolutions on December 31st/January 1st, to be honest, I feel asleep by 8:30pm (hey, I just came back from a week out of town I was tired.) I was awoken by fire works at midnight and gave Skyler a sleepy kiss and went back to sleep. Some of my resolutions this year are simple read more, obtain good grades in my college classes, etc. The typical things. I don't set big resolutions on a single day out of the year because I like to set things through out the year. Because, I don't know what will happen in a month or three months or where I will even be. I feel like if I predict what my life will be like for the next year then I am setting myself up for disappointment and other emotional let downs. Since being a closeted perfectionist I tend to get really upset if I plan something out in my head and it doesn't work out. 

But some of my long term goals (more like mind sets) are to let go and stop holding onto anger. What is that saying? Holding onto anger is like drinking the poison intended for your enemies? Basically my anger is only hurting me. I don't want to do that anymore. This maybe a life long goal but no better time to start then now or more like on Christmas I decided this but not the point. 

I hope you had a wonderful season whether you celebrate a specific holiday or it was just another day for you. I hope you were surrounded by family or friends and love and happiness.

Let me know what some of your resolutions were and I hope you have a wonderful and successful year! 

Living with dermatillomania.

1. Dermatillomania
2. The primary characteristic of Skin Picking Disorder (also known as Dermatillomania or Excoriation) is the repetitive picking at one's own skin to the extent of causing damage. Usually, but not always, the face is the primary location for skin picking. However, Skin Picking Disorder may involve any part of the body.
3. As a disclosure this may be a topic that you may find uncomfortable and you are welcome to by pass it. But if you, or if you know someone who has this, continue reading. Also, I'm not a professional researcher and I am not a psychologist. I am strictly writing from my own personal struggle and research that I have done. If you would like further in depth information go to: http://www.trich.org/about/skin-picking.html
4. I wanted to do a post about dermatillmania because it is a disorder that is not entirely excepted as an actual disorder. I am hoping that I can help others understand that this is a disorder, it is not something you may have control over and that you are not alone. It can be picking at ones own skin anywhere on the body, sure there are area's that are more common to pick, but not everyone does this in the same location. It is believed to be triggered by anxiety, perhaps tend to be done in situation in which something happens and it triggers the need to pick.
   I have dermatillomania. I don't know how long I have struggled with it, but for as long as I can remember since I was a kid. Up until a few months ago I didn't know that my complusive behavior had a name; I just thought it was a bad habit (for lack of a better word). I remember so many people telling me to
   "just stop". 
5. "Stop picking at your fingers they are going to scar"
   "Doesn't it hurt?"
   "why can't you just stop? Just don't pick at them."
   "You won't want your hands photographed on your wedding day."
   "Why do you want to hurt yourself?"
6. Many people would tell me that it's easy to not pick, that it doesn't make sense why I do it. They would ridicule me and make me feel like I was abnormal. I was embarrassed of my fingers, I would hid my hands in my sweater or pockets, I had anxiety of people holding my hand or if I had to hand them something I would arrange my fingers around said object in a way that they wouldn't be able to see the scarring and wounds. I didn't want to do this to myself, it's not for attention seeking. If I could, I wouldn't do this it, I would treat my hands with love and care. But I couldn't control it and sometimes I wouldn't even realize that I was doing it. I would sit there and minutes later realize my fingers were bleeding. Even now, becoming more aware of my disorder I still can't figure out what the trigger is. I try to educate friends and family about dermatillomania, help them understand that I wish I could stop, that I am working on it and that telling me to "just stop" isn't going to help me.
7. So for those of you do struggle with this, understand that this is something you shouldn't feel embarrassed about, rather see it as something you should come to terms with as a disorder and open up to a friend, family member, therapist, whoever. If you know someone who struggles with this, don't tell them to "just stop". You are not helping when you say that, if anything you are hindering them. When you see them picking, talk to them, try to help them see that they are not in a stressful situation (given, that you guys aren't in one?) tell them whatever you feel is right in helping them, do not demean them because you do not understand. 
8. It wasn't easy to write at the beginning my admittance on such a public forum. As I do further research and I grow to learn more about this I want to help others grow with me and if you want to reach out, you are always welcome to drop me a message. Also, I will continue to open up about my struggle with you over time. 
9. 
   

Staying relevant

I'm sure many of us have had self conscious thoughts of: Am I important? Do people care or worry? Etc. In this day of age one of the ways we think we are relevant is based of how many twitter followers we have, how many people like our updates and photo's on Facebook; do you see where I am going with this? I too, have had days were I worry that perhaps I am socially awkward or are boring or any semi-ridiculous thought that something is wrong with me, when in actuality there is nothing wrong with me or you or anything wrong with the people you know, that don't "like" your new photo.

Before there was social networking how did people stay friends outside of high school? Sadly, many people didn't. You moved on with your life as you grew older. Making new friends in college, work so on and so forth. It wasn't because you didn't want to be around your old comforting friends but because as a part of life, you reached out and focus on you. With Facebook we see what everyone is doing. How they are going out of the country, how they are having brunch at the Ritz Carlton, having babies, these huge things and while many of us are sitting at home thinking, when is it my turn? Why are they getting to do all these things? Why do so many people care about their travels and life events? None of things should be important. We concern ourselves with other people's lives too often that we forget to look at what we have. What wonderful things are happening in our own personal lives.

We shouldn't find legitimacy through other people, but through ourselves.

And of course there is the dreadful "unfriended" on Facebook or "unfollow" on instagram or twitter. Why do we care? It's not like we actually talk to these people. Sometimes we do though and that hurts the most. How often do people move on because of a personal dig at you? Not as often as we would like to believe. Believing that someone doesn't want any further contact turns into a selfish desire. A desire to hang onto things and to make things stay the same because it makes us feel secure. Many people are looking for a clean slate, to move on from high school (the drama, the rumors, etc). I have felt offended when I have been unfriended in the past and I probably will in the future. But I myself have unfriended people. Only two people and it was selfish to say the least, but that's not the point of this. We shouldn't focus on what's happening on social networking, we should try to focus more on what is going on in the world, current events. How can we change the world, because that's more important and will be more relevant in the future. No one is going to remember when "so and so" went on a study abroad trip. Many things on social sites are fleeting and will only be remembered by those who actually experienced them.

Hopefully this will help those of you who are worried about why you feel like you aren't relevant. You are not. Just close the computer, go outside, volunteer and experience life through your eyes and your experiences because your relevance should be your own personal thing and everyone else's? That is there's.

Defining size

How often do you walk through a store and see signs that designate where certain clothes are? Such as, men, women's, boys, girls, etc. Or perhaps during online shopping? I'll admit, I love online shopping, even if I have no intent of buying anything I love seeing new shipments and imaging if I could buy whatever I wanted. For much of my life (meaning, the time in my life I could start shopping for myself) I had a hard time going into stores and buying things. I would usually end up crying and being upset, not liking anything that I saw or if I liked something it wouldn't be in my "size". I'm not sure, but I may not be the only one who has had this experience before. It makes me sad thinking that there are people who have or still are feeling the way I would when it came to shopping. Now that I am older I started to understand shopping more and shopping for my size, don't get me wrong sometimes I accidentally buy the wrong size. I didn't really have anyone when I was younger telling me if something looked good or bad. The typical words were: Okay, get it. Sure. So on and so forth. I remember shopping for a school dance my sophomore year in high school. I was at Macy's and saw so many cute dresses. I grabbed a few I really liked thinking they were my size and went to try them on. None of them worked, making me feel like something was wrong with me. That my body didn't meet the standard that these clothing companies appealed to. I ended up buying a very plain baggy dress that I despised even to this day. But don't worry, that whole dance in general was one of the lamest things I ever attended. Even up till this past year I couldn't eye my size or was in denial of my size. When you are a teen or in your 20's, maybe even older, you want to shop in your age groups area. I didn't want to shop in women's, or plus size. Though, I don't believe I was plus sized at any point but in a weird size of not junior or plus. So women's ended up being the easiest place to shop for me.

The point I am trying to make in this post is what defines size? Why do we have to have petite and plus size designated areas? I understand that separating men and women and from there women and juniors. But why do we need to advertise that in this area you are petite and over here you are plus size? You could argue that it makes it easier to shop. But what I would say to that is first, shopping is never easy regardless of organizing. But secondly, how much harder or more work would be placed on the shopper if the sizes were just in the same area with no giant sign? Our society has created this stigma with what our size is. That our size defines us, that we can't shop in the same area as someone who is smaller or bigger than us. All the while designers and retail know that them separating sizes can make someone feel uncomfortable. We shouldn't be afraid to shop in what is right for us. But also, there needs to be a bigger spectrum of sizes, not just a certain body frame. I'm sure in this post I bounced across that discussion of size and that maybe I didn't hit any particular point but perhaps this will help people to start thinking about the question at hand: What defines size?

Chocolate Masque

Doesn't that title sound yummy?

Yum. By the way, I am using my new camera :) 

Hello! So it's been awhile but I want to talk about a new masque I tried. I actually tried it today :) I'm sure most of you have heard of these masques by Montagne Jeunesse. You can find them anywhere really. I picked this one up at Ulta a few weeks ago. It took me awhile to use it because I only use masque's once a week and I was/still using one my Giovanni (check out that post here). So if I had known that this one smelt so good I would've started using it sooner. So a few things about this companies product: it is cruelty free (BUAV certified) and vegetarian.

Cruelty-free and vegetarian

How awesome is that? Also, it is very budget friendly. Because even when you are on a budget you probably still want to treat yourself and let's be honest, LUSH is an amazing company that also makes face masque's but it isn't ideal for the girl on a budget. Or even if you are new to trying face masque's this is a good one to start off with.

Let me start off the major details of it by saying this: It smells like chocolate. Not like that weird fake smell but actual candy bar chocolate. You can't go wrong with that. Just don't try to eat! I'm sure it doesn't taste like candy. This particular masque is for dry skin/ t-zone. T-zone meaning you tend to break out along the forehead down the center of your face. And of course, knowing me, I didn't look at which type I picked up until I got home. Luckily my biggest issue is in the t-zone. It says to wet face with warm water then apply. Make sure you read the back for what to do because some say to apply dry and some say to apply when face is wet. This mask is supposed to hydrate, deep clean pores and an anti-stress. I can agree that the smell of chocolate is de-stressing. I let it on for about 10 minutes and it got very hard. I personally can't tell if my pores are cleaner perse but I do feel like my face is more moisturized.

A real awkward bathroom selfie. The models did it better. 

This definitely a product that I would repurchase and would recommend to others. It is great for those who are on a budget, trying to/are cruelty-free shoppers, strictly vegetarian product users, or for those that like chocolate. 

Have you tried this masque before or another one like it or by this company? Let me know! I would love to hear what you think or your reviews. :)

Where have I been? Yet again. Catching up on life, school and my 21st birthday

Hello!
So recently I haven't been around much on the blogging front. I have over loaded with school, life and everything. It's been a drag. But I'm hoping now (that I am on Spring Break) I will be able to put up a few posts :)

Let me catch you up:

It was my birthday on March 3rd. Skyler took me to Dave N Busters and I had a few drinks, not a lot because I was getting sick from eating bread with gluten in it :x

I think this drink was called Candy Land. It was actually really good. You couldn't taste the alcohol at all. I would've drank beer but being gluten intolerant I can't have beer, so cocktails and shots it was.

Our attempt at an Oscar selfie. I think we all looking charming. (I'm hiding behind Skyler's should) :)

Oh yeah, and my sweet new ride. :P (It's in the wall btw)

I plan on getting a new camera with my birthday money, woop woop! Better quality photo's AND starting up my channel again :)



So after my birthday I had to study a TON for my biology exam. If anyone had taken college biology, you know it's a hard class









Well that's about it so far. I'm hoping to get some Spring, well it already feels like summer in Arizona, inspiration up. See you soon!

-Tori

Giovanni purifying facial mask

Giovanni purifying facial mask
D:tox system

Hey! Long time no talk. Sorry I've been gone for some time. I just started college classes, picking up more shifts at work and other life odds and bits. I hope you had a fantastic end to 2013 and an even more wonderful start to 2014! How are you doing on those resolutions? ;)

So today I wanted to talk about Giovanni purifying facial mask (if that wasn't obvious, haha). What a great one to talk about for my first post of the new year? The word purifying, it makes me think of refreshing, clean and new. And it should make me think of that. Everyone (or almost everyone) starts the new year with intention of a clean slate, starting over and change. For some it's little things like, smile more and for some it's huge things like, over coming a fear. For me one of my resolutions is to love and take care of myself. I don't take a lot of time for myself, I don't know why. But in the past few months I've been learning how to "listen" to my body. Sounds a bit...hippy, right? Well whether it is or isn't shouldn't really matter. It's good to learn how to "listen" to your body. Learn what foods work for you, what make up and facial cleansers work, etc. For me I've learned many things my body does NOT appreciate. Many things I have been eating, drinking or using for many years but that is a topic for another day and another blog post. So onto what THIS post is about.

So if you have read any of my older posts you may know that I have sensitive skin. And it's beyond picky. What I mean is, I can't use many popular face washes (which I don't mind because many test on animals) I can't use liquid foundation or I will break out. And other things. So I am very weary of a lot of products. Also I like to use organic or close to natural as possible. And it has to be cruelty free.Well I have heard many wonderful things about Giovanni from bloggers and The Leaping Bunny. The thing that caught my eye was that they are cruelty free, that right there got all my attention. So for a few months I had been looking at reviews and posts about them, going on their website and such. I came to the conclusion that I wanted to try some of their products and lo and behold I couldn't find any of their things. That's not the companies fault, I could order online, but I'm far too impatient for that :) Anyways the stores I had gone to didn't have their things or if they carried it didn't have it in stock, which I have a few issues with stores not caring adequate amounts of cruelty free products. But I'm not upset by that, I understand. So a few days ago I went to TJMaxx (If you haven't been to TJMaxx before I suggest you go, it's also called TKMaxx in other countries, right?) Anyways I went to their hair and body section and they had many brands that I can't ever seem to find and I saw the Giovanni face mask and I thought: "well well well...I'm going to try this! It's here and I better get it before it's gone." So this was a few days ago. I love face mask, but my luck with them has been so so. It's my skin. Face masks will make my skin feel soft and smooth and clean and then I break out the next day. I don't know why. It's happened with LUSH face masks. So I thought I can't make a blog post the day after trying this to give a real review I need to wait a few days to see how my skin reacts. And the outcome was...

I did not break out! Not one bump and red spot, nothing, nada, zip! I think we can say that this product was blessed by the face gods. It's been 3 days since I used it and not a single zit. It's grey in color and there are no beads on scrubiness to it. I am indifferent on the smell, it's not bad but not amazing. It's the typical face mask smell. My favorite thing about it is that it contains acai and goji berry both very powerful antioxidant superfoods. It's a mask you put on for 20 minutes and gently wash off. When I washed it off my skin felt smooth but it did make it feel dry, I don't know if it was the product that caused it or just the fact that I live in Arizona. This product is certified by Leaping Bunny.

Oh just me looking like an alien with the mask on.

I hope you enjoyed this review! Leave a comment below if you have tried any Giovanni's other products, I would love to hear what you think! Bye!