Health, fitness and eating right.

(Image via truprep.com)

Am I the only one who struggles with being consistent with being healthy and exercising? I don't know how many times I've tried to lose weight and go to the gym or do weights and eventually fall off track.
I have an "emotional eating" issue. If something bad happens or if something is stressful I tend to eat, and not healthily. I tend to eat comfort food, such as, breads and sugar. It's something that I apparently learned from other people, I don't know. For most of my childhood and teenage years I was told I was fat, needed to loose weight, etc. Or told very indirect comments: Everyone could stand to loose 10 pounds. But normally I wouldn't let those comments get to me...

(Trigger warning for anyone with eating disorder)

My junior year of high school I was told by people (I won't disclose any names) that I was fat or that my eating habits could lead me to being obese. Day after day I was told this. I played softball in high school and we practiced 3 hours a day Monday-Friday. Like normal, I didn't think anything of it. Then I started dating a guy who was skinnier than me. No, I didn't get any disorder from this person. I do not by any means blame this person for anything. I do have someone to blame, myself. My "disorder" started roughly a good month before we started dating. But in March of my Junior year I couldn't take the criticism anymore. Early that year I had two full fledged break downs (the kind where it was like an out of body experience? The first time I laid on my bedroom floor for 3 years and couldn't move and the second one I packed up all my stuff and destroyed my own things) But why that happened is something completely for another time...
But I started limiting how much I was eating. I started reading books that triggered me. It was so self destructive. I was doing softball 3 hours a day and eating only 500 calories. You need 1200 at a minimum for my height (5'8'') to function, if you're doing sports actively you need 2000. So 500 is horrible and I could have done some extensive damaged to my body. I completely lost myself at that point.

It's been 4 years to this month that I stopped hurting myself and decided to try and eat balanced and exercise and I have lost more weight and felt more confident than I ever had my Junior year. Currently I am 5'8'' and 164 pounds, my goal is 130. I am happy with what I am doing now and wish I could helps those who are where I was my Junior year. I'm going to tell you this:
Limiting your intake or forcing yourself to rid your body of nutrients is not the way to go.
Eat healthy and go out for a walk or bike ride and you'll feel amazing and confident!
Everyone is beautiful no matter what size. As long as you are taking care of you! Don't loose weight because someone said something or because this person weighs this much or because the media tells you what's "acceptable". Do it for you.
I plan on making post about my rises and falls with my health journey and I would love to know what you guys do i.e meals, fitness tips, fun idea's, etc!

Love

Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead. 

- Oscar Wilde

I know many people may believe that Skyler and I are too young to be thinking of getting married. I don't tell them they are wrong. But I also never tell them they are right. Because, no one, even myself, know if we are too young. Anyone should get married at whatever age. I think it's ridiculous that there's a stigma to when someone should get married.  I know that I love him, and that ever since the first day I met him I knew he was something special to me. It was something that just hit me. I always thought that people were exaggerating when they said you would know when "the one" comes into your life. But it's true, you just know. I am one of those people where I was so impervious to love and anything that could potentially make me vulnerable  I had been hurt, not by boyfriends or ex lovers, but by people who I thought would never hurt me. It's something I'm not going to explain further but just know that I was cold hearted and for years basically emotionless. I hated crying (and still do) but when I met Skyler, something about him made me want to talk to him about things I have kept secret from everyone and to be honest, not just with him but also with myself.
If you are looking for "the one" you may never come across the actual right person for you. You have to let fate take it's course. If you do what you love, and let life go on it's own you will come across that person. Also don't be afraid to date! Dating doesn't mean sealing the deal. It means getting to know someone, maybe they will become your best friend and that person you consider family. Maybe they are the one. But don't be hard on yourself if it hasn't happened yet, because it will.